I have fond memories of horseplay with my dad and marveling at his fascination with toy trains and Archie comic books. His ninth grade education never seemed to be a hindrance, especially when he played Jeopardy where his knowledge of lesser known places like East Timor and ability to recall long forgotten and often obscure recordings by Nina Simone was prominently displayed. Even while my father still lives- he is, in many ways, gone. His memory and ability to formulate thoughts in a logical, cohesive way is markedly diminished and the fairly predictable father of yesteryear is now, at times, chaotic and melancholy. He lives with chronic mental illness, an insidious interloper that has taken over the wheel of his life and has ultimately directed its course. Chronic mental illness can also mean collateral emotional damage to loved ones. Anger, shame, feelings of guilt, self-blame, frustration, feelings of hopelessness, confusion, feelings of helplessness, depression, and denial are within the range of common difficult emotions. Those living with mental illness may find it difficult to recognize that a problem exists or resist efforts to treat it. The process of coping requires that family members move toward recognizing what is rather than holding only on to what was. This is particularly true when navigating cognitive disorders characterized by unpredictable behavior and dementia symptoms that gradually worsen over time. In my clinical work, I have found that what is often most challenging for parents of a child diagnosed with chronic mental illness is letting go of what might have been- the deferred dream. Letting go requires that parents re-write the life narrative that they have attached themselves to and accept a new story. Other coping strategies include open communication with family members, intentional self-care, utilizing mental health professionals, and connecting to support networks. There is, however, no substitute for access to any person willing to listen without prejudice, while offering compassion, solicited guidance, and genuine concern. So whether you are the son, daughter, parent, spouse, sibling, or other extended family member of a person living with chronic mental illness, you are not alone, you are not to blame, and dreams can be modified. A rich and fulfilling life is still possible. More good news. You can map the direction of this unexpected journey.

Railroad Park interviews mom regarding the impact of access to greenspace on well-being.